How to Save A Life

A lot of great things have happened for me recently, and I'll write about them next, but tonight my heart is filled with philosophical bittersweet-ness. I'll explain:

Mormons, like all Christians, love parables and have come up with several of our own modern allegories in order to illustrate the ways and workings of God. (speaking of, perhaps I should get in touch with Sheri Dew and ask if she is interested in putting together a book. hmmm... there might be money to be made here...) One parable in particular tells of a man who is walking along a beach and encounters another man combing the beach for stranded starfish and throwing them back into the ocean. The man asks the other " Why are you wasting your time? You can't possibly save them all. It won't make much of a difference." to which the other man replies to the sceptic "It did for that one."

This story became my life philosophy. I decided that to save a life, if only just once would be satisfying for me. That is, it was before I met Evo.

In order to understand why this puppy means so much to me, we need to move back a couple of months. Last April, my family lost our gorgeous German Shepherd mix, Luke. He had been in our family for almost 10 years, and his death was surprising and mercifully sudden. In fact, he died in my arms( so to speak; he was 120lbs. I basically just held his giant head and sobbed as I told him he could go. ) By miraculous circumstances, we were all there by his side when he went, and we all knew that the Lord had given us a great gift. My siblings and I all loved him, but out of all of us, I think I took his passing the hardest. (all though, my youngest sister Allysann has been reported to say that she will "never love[another dog] again." Very Dawson's Creek). As to be expected, there was a huge hole left in our home without him there, and I found myself mourning in a very embarrassing manner...

My mother, unable to cope with the void Luke left behind, convinced my Dad to allow for another dog in our home. Only this one was to be the size of the fur balls Ally used to collect off Luke's shedding hide. To the elitist hybrid breeders, he is a 'malkie'- a Maltese/ Yorkie mix. He's tiny, no more then 4lbs, which makes him 1/25 of the dog we used to have. My mother named him Ernest, after the play 'The Importance of Being Earnest' . This little guy has an endearing way about him, but he has had great difficulty with house training. One day, my mom and I took him to Petsmart for some supplies. She found a dog trainer there and sat down to consult with her about Ernie's little problem. While I waited, I found that the trainer had her demo dog there, waiting patiently and serenely for her attention because that's what Golden Retrievers do. They're basically perfect. I started to scratch him behind his ears and he just fell limp at my feet. I sat down beside him and started to rub his tummy (something I'm very good at, I might add), and I began to realize how much I missed snuggling up to a furry dog with bulk. Before I knew it, tears began to roll down my cheeks. The startled trainer asked me if I wanted her to take him away, and I told her no. I just sat there, like a boobing idiot, petting that animal and wondering where my own Lukie had gone.


Now for the good part. I had made Evo's acquaintance only shortly before Luke had died. He, like all the dogs I work with, had a sad story. His previous owner dumped him at the Humane Society with some lame excuse and left him there to die. Evo wasn't even put up for adoption. He was set for euthanization the moment he arrived because his owner claimed he was 'an escape artist'. This is a ignorant assessment because:



a) ALL HUSKIES ARE ESCAPE ARTISTS! It is part of their breed! They, more then any other type of dogs take after their vulpine forefathers. They're roamers and they're hunters. They're very prey driven and they are not safe with children, cats, or even sometimes small dogs. A lot of people get Huskies because they think they are beautiful or cool, but they know very little about the breed and as a result, the dogs get dumped, and the lucky ones end up with people like Maren. I shudder to think about all those that aren't lucky. Evo wasn't meant to be. He was scheduled to die when he was only 8 months old. I have some choice words for this loser of a owner, but being a Christian woman, I just can't say it! Seriously though, irresponsible people like this are pimples on the butt of humanity.



b) Evo has been assessed by an expert, and we think he might be part German Shepherd. Because of this, he has some very shepherd- like qualities. We learned that when Kahlua got out and was killed, Evo not only stayed put, but kept the other dog in the yard too. He's highly intelligent, and very protective. This is not the making of un-controlable, wild, dog.



But I digress. Continuing on with the story: The head of the Adoption Services at the Humane Society couldn't bring herself to destroy such a beautiful dog, so she contacted Maren and asked her to take him. We didn't have room for Evo at first, so she kept him for about a month before Maren could pick him up.

In the beginning, he broke my heart. He was very nervous around people, particularly children, and didn't want to be petted. He would bark loudly at any strangers that came into the shop and would run away if anyone approached him. Except me. I'd like to say that I have a special gift with animals, and that they instantly sense my aura of compassion and fun when we meet, but I'll be honest, I think the reason the dogs are never intimidated by me is because I'm 4' 10'' in all my glory and they can take me down anytime they want. And I'm always equipped with a leash and a treat. No matter what home they come from, they recognize these things as sign of good will. This probably dates back to the Pre-existence.



I learned very quickly that I had to watch which routes I took him on, because when I went into a overly crowded area, people inevitably wanted to stop me and pet him, which he was not comfortable with. I began a routine with him, and took him the on the same path everyday, so that he would become more secure with me and his surroundings. He did beautifully. Soon he had our walk memorized and he was as well behaved on a leash as I could ask for. (although, he has recently displayed a tendency for J-walking...) I began to trust him so much that I our walks went from being a half an hour to an hour and a half. I learned that I could take him anywhere, and I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. I even found a little fenced-park where I could let him off his leash and let him run. Evo would come right back to me the moment I called. He loved it, and he loved me. He was never much of a licker, but he would greet me every day by jumping up on me. He's big enough that his paws would rest on shoulders. I didn't mind it at all. It was like getting a hug, doggie style. He learned that he enjoyed being petted and scratched and came up with a system to let me know when he wanted my attention. I came to love this animal more then any other dog I've worked with at the shelter, past and present. After I would walk him, I would sit with him and cuddle him before I had to leave. He came to expect it, and was all too willing to lay his big furry head in my lap.

Maren was pleased that I was willing to spend so much time with him. She said it was good for him to be socialized and all my work with him was going to help him get adopted. We started taking him to dog shows and demos, and he stopped traffic wherever he went because he was so pretty. She said it was all positive training for him. But what she didn't know is that Evo was doing much more for me then I was for him. My heart still hurts when I go home to a house that doesn't have a loud, hairy beast that's just begging for me to pay attention to him and scratch his bum, but that was momentarily forgotten when I had the chance to focus on another creature who needed me as badly as I needed him. And not just for grieving. These past couple of months have been very difficult for me and I have struggled worse then I have in years. I felt very alone, and socially neglected. It seemed like everybody wanted something from me, but nobody cared that I was hurting. But I'm the kind of person who needs desperately to be needed, and Evo gave me a sense of purpose. People who don't like or understand dogs can't visualize them being self aware, but not only are they capable of feelings, but they are capable of sensing emotions in others. That is why they are so often used in therapy. My mom once said that Luke was her therapy dog. Evo was mine.



I keep using past tense, and the reason for that is because today Evo was adopted. I should be happy about it; it's the whole objective of what I do. Maren was even kind enough to let me meet the people who were taking him and even asked for my input- which she is under no obligation to do. I felt like these people were nice, but twits- the girlfriend in the couple asked me if we 'could train Evo to not kill their cat'. Now, like I said, Evo is a very good dog, and very well mannered, for a Husky. I've seen him by-pass birds, dogs, rodents, bugs, garbage , all kinds of distractions in the dog world. But he's still a dog and cats are his weakness. Anytime he sees one he tries to convince me that it should be on the menu. You can only ask so much from a dog! I felt like asking her if she felt like a lioness could be trained not to kill a weak and sickly antelope.

However, Maren has warned them of the risks and since Evo does have so many shepherding qualities, she thinks it's possible that he can learn to go against his nature. She's the boss. I prayed that she would find the best home for him and this is what she felt inspired to do. At least these people are athletic, active people and judging by their insistence that they adopt him, even at great peril to dear old fluffy, I feel confident that they can love him enough. I just know that when I walk in to the shop on Monday morning to walk the other dogs, I'm going to remember that he's no longer there, and there will be another hole in my heart. For a little while, anyway.



I took him out today one last time and made him sit with me while I took a picture of us on my phone. It's not that great, but in my defense, he was distracted by two stately German Shepherds across the street-which to his enormous credit, he did stay sitting- and I had a hard time fitting both his fat head and mine in the frame. Anyway, the point is, I may not have been the one to take him out of death row, but I dedicated a great deal of time and effort and even some expense to enrich his life so that he would learn what it felt like to be truly loved. But in the end, although I wasn't about to slit my wrists or anything, he gave me a reason for living. Moral of the story: you give a little love and it all comes back to you...

The Dog Days of Summer

Originally, I had planned to title this installment 'Who Let the Dogs Out?', and at first, it would've been a great title for a funny incident. But due to a recent event, such a title is now hurtful and inappropriate. It has also inspired me to post my involvement with Arctic Rescue this summer while I still can. You see, huskies are by nature, clever escape artists; more then any other breed, they feel the need to roam and explore their environment. It dates back to the days when the Eskimos would set their dogs free during the summer and expect them to fend for themselves. When winter came, the dogs returned home, hoping the sled drivers would feed them. This makes them the wildest of the dog world, and they are every bit as prey driven as any hound.

You'd think age would take the edge off these guys, but no! Let me tell you a little story...

Once upon a time I was opening the back door to Racer's Bike shop, the headquarters for Arctic Rescue. I was expecting to find Evo, my spunky yet obedient puppy waiting for me patiently to attach his leash to harness and lead him off for a fantastic adventure around the streets of Provo. Instead I feel rather then see this flash of white zip past me and out into the shop. At first, I was confused. I didn't know the rescue had taken on a new dog; was this Shazaam, the award-winning show puppy that had his pictures plastered all over the shop as shamelessly as the shirtless hotties that grace the walls of Hollister? I wasn't in any hurry to catch this renegade, until I realized that for some unknown reason, the door to the shop was wide open! I watched in horror as this nameless dog I'd never seen before runs out the door and into the street. I race after her as I watch several cars tap their brakes as she crosses to the other side. They are not so polite to me. I have a harder time navigating across the street to reach her, and in the meantime, she decided she'd take up quilting and stepped into the Bernina Fabric Store. When I finally get inside, I see a flustered mother sweep her small son onto the counter and a bewildered shop owner trying to decide what to do with this new customer. I grab her collar and talk to her gently, like it was routine to have boisterous sled dogs come in and check out fabric. The shop owner asked me if this was my dog, and I replied 'no, she belongs to the shelter across the street.' and, not allowing her the time to get angry or ask any more questions, I lead the fugitive out the door and back across the street. Later that day, I called Maren, the shelter's founder, to let her know that she might be contacted. She wasn't too worried about it. She explained to me that Tasha was 10 years old and almost completely blind. I couldn't believe that a senior that could barely see had given me the slip. It shouldn't have been a surprise... I remember learning from the musher at the kennel I visited in Alaska that when a dog is too old to race, he is put to work teaching the pups how to pull. Tasha, despite her disadvantage, has managed to leave her muddy paw prints on a few good natured joggers. She really was such a sweet girl that nobody got mad her. She's like that old lady that gets away with doing naughty things at the nursing home because she's just so gosh darn funny.


Does this sweet little girl strike you as the mistress of mayhem? Don't be fooled by her demure appearance...

So yeah, this story was a great learning experience for me and I will never again underestimate the power of cooped up canine. The problem is sometimes the story isn't quite so funny...

About two weeks ago, I was once again bombarded with a new rescue. She was a wiry, 25 lb. seppela Siberian with gorgeous blue eyes and a genetic make up that mushers would kill for. (They're crossing them with smaller, speedier dogs for a more aerodynamic team). Barely more then a puppy. At first I couldn't decide how I felt about her. Kahlua was strong enough to take on the burlier, routier boys out back, but she was also strong enough to yank me around, as she wasn't half as disciplined as Evo is. But after I took her for a walk and I sat down on chair in the back yard to watch the dogs play, she ambled up to me and put her paws on my knees. She looked up at me with those pretty blue eyes and I knew I toast.

I realized that she was small enough to meet the weight conditions of my new apartment conditions. Sugar plums began to dance in my head: I could take her with me! She'd be perfect for it! She was small enough to control but strong enough to pull. She would be the most ideal dog to train me to race and rescue huskies. I even called my new apartment complex to see how they felt about it, and they said they'd work with me. She was sweet and spicy all at once, and would do well in the hustle and bustle community I would be moving to.

I made all kind of grand plans:I picked out a new name for her, took an inventory of all the things I would need to buy her(including a dog tag with rhinestones on it- nothing but the best for my girl!) and decided which Vet I was going to take to for her flight certification. It was all going to work out... until last Monday when I got a message on my voice mail form Maren telling me that Kahlua had escaped, could I call her back and tell her what route I'd walk Kahlua on? I tried to call her back, but she didn't answer. I left a message and sent her a text. Our conversation went like this:

D:Any luck?

....

M:She got hit.

D:Where is she?! Should I come over?

M:We have the body.

(This is the part where I exploded into tears)

D:I'm sorry. Is there any thing I can do?

M:No. I'm just really upset.

M:We are still on for the dog show tomorrow in the a.m. Evo will need something to do. He'll be missing his buddy.

And there it was. She was gone, and with her all my plans, and my dream of starting a team in Texas. I know I'll never be able to find another one like her; the fact that her previous owner had dropped her is almost unthinkable. All ethics aside, this dog, with her unique genetics, was worth thousands of dollars . Maren has had a hard letting go of her outrage. Apparently she was let out by a couple of Racer's buddies who expected him to do them a special favor and work on their bikes hours after closing time. I don't know how you can ignore the fact that there were three full grown huskies locked up in that small yard, but they did, and they left the gate wide open. Maren came right before the other two left the yard, and Racer hopped onto his bike and began scouring Provo for the baby. He watched her run straight into traffic.

So now, I just have the one. Evo. As sad as I am that Kahlua is gone, (and trust me, I'm devastated.) I can't imagine what I'd do if it had been my boy instead. Evo and I have been working together for about three months now and we are crazy about each other. He took me on my first bikejoring ride, and we'll continue to train each other until I leave. Which, as it turns out, is much later then I thought. Things did not work out financially as I had hoped, so when Maren offered me a payed internship, I took it. I'll be leaving in the middle of October. In the meantime, I'm going to learn how to race and to rescue. It's ironic because I meant for this to be a short narrative of my work with the sled dogs. But, as is to be expected of a McKinlay, I cannot tell a short story. And there is a lot to say about Evo. I've taken him to dog shows, demos, photoshoots, and bikejoring runs. He's an amazing athlete and a dear friend. So without further ado, here is my beautiful puppy:

An Ode to Red Shoes

I don't how or why it began, but red shoes have always been the stuff of legend. They seem to always be associated with magic and idea that right will always prevail. Examples can be found in many of our favorite fairy tales: It is the legendary ruby slippers in The Wizard of Oz that not only have the ability to restore Dorothy back to her true home, but forge the major plot line of the story. In the Snow Queen, Gerta tries to to sell her beautiful new red shoes for information about her kidnapped friend, Kay. This leads to a series of events resulting in his recovery, adding to moral of the tale, which emphasis love, friendship, and sacrifice. On a more morbid note, the original Grimm version Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, has the Evil Queen paying penance for her cruelty to the young princess by dancing at her wedding in red hot iron shoes. Luckily, no one knows about this ending to the story due to the more popular animated version. (10 points for you, Walt. Having the Evil Queen get crushed off stage by a massive boulder by her own undoing is much more poetic and easier on the kiddies!) The point is, a pair of scarlet shoes can symbolize a time when fantastic things happened. I've come to learn this for myself.

A couple of years ago, my younger sister and I traveled to the strange and remote world of Alaska. It was a hard adjustment for us both, but I came to love it! It was wild and untouched, still full of the courageous spirit that led to it's settlement in the first place. We were working as housekeepers on a cruise line lodge, but it was anything but luxurious for the employees. Kait hated it. She's not the type of girl who likes frontier living. She didn't enjoy the hour and a half drive to the nearest town, and certainly didn't appreciate the occupational hazard of the occasional stray bear in our maids closets. While I was spending my day off venturing off to the local Sled Dog kennels and immersing myself in Alaskan culture, she hopped on the nearest shuttle and traveled three hours to the Anchorage Mall. It's not all that great, but at least it wasn't a place where taxidermy was the decorator's theme.

I had celebrated my 21st birthday out there, and I felt at first that the only noteworthy thing that was going to happen was that all the Bulgarians up there were going to bombard me with requests to get them alcohol. But then Kait surprised me with a present: a pair of red mary janes. They were simple, and hopefully not too expensive, but I fell in love with them the moment I saw them. They were instantly comfortable, and I wore them all over the mountain, and even had them on when I returned home.


For the past couple of summers, they have been my allies in adventure. I wore them when I went clam digging on the Puget Sound, near Seattle, (and dang near lost them to the tide! But I persevered, by golly!)



when I hiked the Mount Olympic Forest, when I danced around Utah lake, and when I'd take my dogs out for a run. They've showed up in art projects and on temple trips, and their range of travel extends from the ocean of the West Coast the Red Rock Deserts of Southern Utah.


It is now with heavy heart that I am forced to place them in retirement. The soles are worn so much that a hole the size of dime has formed. When I toss them out, I hope that I'll be able to retain all the good memories that came with them. I'm not sure to worry about this too much, because as one last parting gift to me, my shoes have given me something I'll never forget:





this totally gnarly tanline.







Sceptics may read my blog and decide that I have nothing but fluff for brains, since this is now the second time I have written about a pair of shoes that have elicited an emotional response from me. What can I say? I love the simple things in life.

Summertime...And the Living is Easy

I made a goal when I began blogging last December that I would post at least one entry per month. At first, that wasn't too difficult. I have a tendency to find adventures in the most obscure places. I'm very aware that I'm young and have a lot of livin' to do, so I do my best to be in the thick of things, no matter what the cost. Last month, however, I hit a road block. It felt like nothing worth reporting happened: no injuries, no brushes with death, no earth-shattering existential insights, no new soapbox to rant on. None of the usual material that tends to fill the cyberspace that is my personal online memoir. However, that cannot be said about this month. I have had many grand adventures within the past few weeks and the only excuse I have for not documenting them is that I have no pictures. I feel that it is my duty as a Mormon woman to not only present an insightful, inspiring blog, but also to embellish it with the most aesthetically pleasing layout, worthy of a true domestic goddess. But, domestic I ain't, so I'll just have to narrate.

My brother made the comment a few weeks ago that I 'thought' I was outdoorsy. I don't know where he's coming up with these conclusions; we speak to each other on average about once a month. However, instead of feeling affronted, I am merely going to present my case with an overview of the occurrences of this season:

Bonfire:

A couple of weeks ago, the first counselor in my Bishopric held his annual bonfire for our ward. I've been told that bonfires in Utah are child's play compared to the roaring infernos that teenagers and college students gather around in other areas of the country. Of course they are! The great state of Utah burns to a crisp like a fatty slab of bacon every summer due to irresponsible practices outdoors. Maybe it's that old adage 'better safe then sorry', but we'd rather keep our beautiful playground for further use. However, this doesn't mean Utahns don't have any stamina. It rained almost the entire day, not just sprinkling, misty light rain, but a persistent, demanding deluge of fat rain drops. And yet, Brother O'Connell's ranch style home out in remote Benjamin was alive with activity as the college students of the BYU 43rd ward buzzed around his property, riding horses, playing basketball, shooting rifles and shot guns, and driving four-wheelers. Where was I? In the thick of it, of course!

Four wheeling:

Many a friend and loved one has forbidden me from ever touching an ATV ever again, due to an accident I was in last winter. I smashed into a ditch and was thrown off, tearing several ligaments in my wrist and thumb. I personally don't think it was that big of a deal; yeah, if I hadn't landed on my feet, I could very well be dead, but I did land on my feet, so it's all good. After the cast was put on, I was fine. It was waterproof and I didn't allow it to slow me down. There was, however, a need to face that vehicle again, just to gain faith in myself. I asked a gentleman in my ward who I felt had sufficient experience with recreational vehicles to take me out on it. He did an okay job, but I guess that it had been a while since he'd driven a four-wheeler. I did end up getting knocked off again, only this time, I only bruised my fingers. Maybe next year I can look forward to an incident-free ride.

Shooting:

I don't think I've ever disapproved of guns themselves, just what they represent. As someone who is dedicating their whole life to saving lives and caring for animals, hunting is not exactly something that is on my agenda of things to do. I've had the hunting debate with friends a dozen times and in the end, it's always something that we have to agree to disagree about. It's a hard thing for me to handle, and it takes a lot of maturity on both ends to stay on congenial terms. For this reason, I decided to give recreational shooting a try. Hunters are always saying that animal lovers are hysterical, irrational, uneducated, and unfair, as some of the greatest advocates for environmentalism are the sportsmen. I'm aware of this, but I wanted to understand the thrill that comes with firing a shotgun. Quinn owns a couple of them, so when Brother O' Connell told us we could use his property as a shooting range, I agreed to join him when he got a group together for one of their shooting expeditions.

That was last summer. The boys were fantastic about teaching me about gun safety and how to hold it right so the gun wouldn't bruise me into oblivion when it kicked. And kick it did! I felt like I was going to knocked completely off my feet. Quinn said I did okay, though. Since then, I have gone shooting twice this month, first using a 203 rifle and later firing a .22. I'll admit that I'm not a big fan of shooting the bigger guns. I haven't touched Quinn's 12 gauge since that first time, and don't know if I ever will, but there was something satisfying about shooting with the .22-especially after Quinn set up one of his badly made ceramic cups for a target at about 20-30 feet-I pinged it on my second shot! I don't know that I'll ever get enough practice to ever become proficient with a gun, but by stepping out there with a bunch of experienced marksmen, I hope to win points for animal lovers everywhere. I show them I can be open minded- to a point, they in turn show me respect by not destroying anything living. We keep to our inanimate targets: clay pigeons, stuffed animals, water bottles, balloons, bad ceramics, broken appliances, and paper targets. Oh, and we always clean up afterward.

This was last year, and my first time with a .22 gauge. It's nice because it doesn't kick and it's easier to load. Maybe it's wussy that I don't love the big guns, but I am a little lady, after all.

Motorcycles:

I don't believe there is a girl out there who doesn't at some point fantasize about jumping on the back of a motorcycle with a muscular man and riding off into the sunset. I know I do. There was a gentleman in our ward who drives one and I made a joke about how I needed to figure out how to find a way on to the back of his bike. I guess he found out because one night after we were all playing at night as a ward, he asked me if I wanted to go with him, he just so happened to bring his second helmet. YEAH! We zipped along the streets of Provo, weaving in and out of traffic and beating everyone else home. It was a fun experience, but I hope someday I get the chance to do the same thing in the desert, without a helmet.

Frisbee:

If you had told me a few years ago that I would become a frisbee fanatic, I would have laughed and continued picking dandelions. That's how I used to cope when my ward would play ultimate frisbee in the old days. Last summer my guyfriends organized a game of glow-in-the-dark ultimate frisbee and invited me to play. I shrugged my shoulders and thought, hey I might as well be social. It was such a success that we continued to do that every Tuesday night for the rest of the summer. I was pretty pathetic at first, but Quinn and Jason decided to throw a frisbee around one night, and it turned into frisbee boot camp. They ran drills with me and taught me how to throw it straight. By the end of the night, I was hooked. This summer we began the tradition again and have been so die-hard that we played in the rain and hail. On the field, I do okay; I usually make at least one touchdown a game. But I don't allow myself to slack off! Quinn's latest thing has been frisbee golf, and I go with him because it improves my throwing range. We also go out and toss it around several times a week and a hour before each game. It's an awesome feeling to watch people scramble to guard me because they perceive me as a threat. It's also a great feeling to see Quinn and Jason beam with pride at their protege when I make an impossible catch.

Bikejoring:

I actually have intentions of expanding on this one in a future blog, so I won't say too much it here, just know that Arctic Rescue is still a major part of my life. I only have one more sled dog left, and he is a prince among huskies. It's been fun because we have been training each other, me as his handler, and he as my team. See, bikejoring is a Swedish sport in which you hook up your dog to a bike or scooter and fly over a mountain trail. Any kind of outdoor dog would enjoy this, but it's especially ideal with huskies because it's a fantastic way to train them to pull a sled, especially in the summer. It's also more access able for the terrain of Utah; we truly have it all! You just need your dog, a leash, and a bike and you're good to go. I've done a bit of dabbling with this, and it has been AMAZING!

If this is not enough to prove myself to Lynn, the summer is still young and there are several plans in the works. I have to make it to Zion's before the summer ends, because it may be my last opportunity to do so. There's also been talk of hiking, rafting, and cookouts. At any rate, I intend to live it up!

Happiness is...

A while back my Mom directed a play called 'You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown.' It's based on the characters created from the cartoon strip 'Peanuts' by Charles M. Shultz. The illustrator in me has always been a fan of his work. There's something amazing about a man that can teach poignant lessons about life through the eyes of a neighbourhood of six-year olds. In the musical, there's a song called Happiness Is... where the children sing about the simple things in life that fulfil them. Recently I've discovered the truth of of this simple song.

About two weeks ago, I learned my future plans were not as secure as I thought. The degree I was working on had it's program changed and I wasn't going to be able to earn it before I left for Texas. Not only that, but I was told that I was no longer eligible for financial aid for the rest of the year. My world was falling apart. It made me sick to think that I was going to leave BYU after six years with nothing but accumulated debt. I went to the art department, financial aid, admissions... no one could help me. Soon it felt like there wasn't anything in my life that wasn't in the hole or out of my reach.

The weather seemed to agree with me. I woke up last week to a drizzly grey morning and thought to my self, well thanks loads, Mother Nature. Looks like you feel like I do. As I was getting ready for the day, I thought dismally about how to best dress so that I could stay strategically dry, when I remembered something. After my latest experience in the horse pastures, I decided I needed to invest in a good pair of galoshes. I found a darling pair online that had horses and horseshoes that I felt were extremely appropriate. They came in a timely fashion, but I was a little sad when they arrived because the sun was shining and I didn't know when I'd get the chance to wear them. When I pulled those sweet little rain boots over my feet, I felt a wonderful, warm sense of happiness wash over me. Who cares if I didn't get a degree from BYU? Who cares if I flunked my math class? Who cares if my laptop is no lying in pieces in it's tomb at the computer repair shop? I had rain boots! I could look cute and stay dry! I ran outside and splashed in every puddle I could find. That day, as I was walking my husky out in the rain, I realized that I had learned a valuable lesson. Happiness is wherever you find it. There is always something to celebrate. Peace filled my heart and I knew that everything was going to be okay. I just needed something to make me stop and think about how truly blessed I am.

As it turns out, everything is okay. I discussed my situation with the Vet Tech Institute of Houston. They will be providing me with funding to clear my debts from both schools, helping me find housing and send my application in earlier, so that I will be able to start my training sooner. They have been wonderful and helpful, and I no longer feel like a major screw-up that has disappointed everyone. Every time I get a phone call from the Institute I feel hopeful and grateful, fully aware that this is the Lord's hand in my life, sending me in a direction that I hadn't anticipated, but I am excited to see what the outcome will be.

So, what ever happiness means to you, whether it's celebrating Beethoven's Birthday, or holding your security blanket, or catching the ever elusive Red Baron, it's in the simple things in life that bring fulfilment. As the line in the song says "Happiness is everything and anything at all". Thanks for that important reminder, Charlie Brown.

All the Pretty Little Horses

My mother used to sing that lullabye to us. At least she says she did. I have no recollection of it. But I have heard the Charlotte Church version and I have recently rediscovered what every little girl seems to inherently know: Horses are magical.


As a child of the 80's, I was constantly bombarded with pro-horse propaganda in the form of Saturday morning cartoons. From the sugary pastels of My Little Ponies to the egotistical but marvelous steed of Rainbow Bright, Starlight, these cheaply done animated shorts banked off the innate desires of little girls every where. Who among us hasn't, at some point, day dreamed about owning a beautiful stallion with a flowing mane that could carry us off onto a rainbow? One that would let us braid it's mane and tail and embellish it with fluffy pink bows? They truly are creatures of fantasy.



Last semester, I quit my job and had too much time on my hands. I decided I needed to volunteer in order to feel like a useful human being. After looking at a pamphlet issued by the Student Service center at BYU, I found a group called Horses for Healing. Apparently BYU is affiliated with a equine therapy clinic that rehabilitates patients with mental and physical disabilities. I figured it couldn't hurt my career to work with horses, so I signed up. Technically, we're supposed to be working with the patients while on horseback, but my experiences with this group has been primarily taking care of the horses. It has been quite a rush. For while we are taught that lovely maidens who are kind to animals win their love and loyalty instantly, reality has taught me that horses are big, powerful creatures, and they know it. They're very gentle for the most part, but I have seen people get kicked, and it is not an enviable fate.





All in all, I love what I do. I went yesterday to brush the horses and help the pregnant mares prepare for foaling. It was a beautiful day and I'm loving the opportunity not only to work with amazing animals that do so much good, but also spending time with people who feel as I do.


I really was happy to be there, it's just that the sun was in my face. Actually, I was grateful for it; I've done some fairly violating procedures on these animals (the kind you don't discuss over blogs) and having cold hands does not help ensure safety.

I guess I made some friends while I was out there; one of the guys that works out there offered to take pictures of me. Later wanted me to go for a ride. I guess being happy makes me cute.




There were honest to goodness some of the most beautiful animals I'd ever seen.

Anyway, I feel very blessed to be living the dream.

"Houston...we have ignition..."

This installment is not so much a funny one, but rather one of serious gratitude. Last November my family did something completely uncharacteristic of us and traveled to San Francisco to visit my younger sister for Thanksgiving. She's been living out there for a couple of years to study fashion design at the Art Institute. I've missed her terribly, but I didn't count on how much seeing her again would impact me. Kaitlin is one of my very best friends in the whole wide world, and when I saw how much she had grown, I was so proud of her. She had become someone who was wise and tolerant and resourceful. She showed us all the sights of the city, some of them I thought were beautiful and whimsical, others I thought were overwhelming and frightening. Her world is very different then mine. As I noticed these changes in her, I felt a sense of longing that was like nothing I'd ever known before. I wanted to do what she had done, and be what she had become. I wanted to learn what it was like to leave home and have some new experiences; living in a state where I belong to the dominant religion, I've never had to defend what I believe in. I wanted to see what I could do on my own.

Promptly after I came home, I got on the computer and looked up Vet Tech schools. I made the decision that I wasn't going to attend the one in Salt Lake. I was going to make myself leave. I stumbled across a website for the Vet Tech Institute of Houston. It looked like a nice place, so I applied for information. Within days a representative contacted me. I learned that the program had a retired zoo keeper as head of staff, which meant a direct link to a future job at a zoo. I also learned that the program was a year and a half, as opposed to the usual two or four year programs. They were impressed with the fact that I was almost through with my bachelor's degree and that I had already had some experience with vet clinics and shelters. Something about it felt really good. We began the application process and the way I was treated, I thought I had acceptance in the bag.

A few days ago, I got a call from the school, telling me that all I had left to do was an interview. I wasn't concerned about it; I was told all I needed to do was convince them how commit ed I was. Easy! But when I got the phone call the next day, the head of the department told me that I lacked the points necessary to get automatically accepted, and this interview would determine whether or not I would make the cut. They asked me several different ethical questions and I answered them as honestly as I could. But after my interview, I felt sick to my stomach. This was something I wanted on so badly. I had worked hard and banked everything on getting accepted to Houston. I sat up all night that night worrying about what I was going to do and where I was going to go if this didn't happen. I had received information from other schools, but I hadn't applied to any of them, because I didn't want them. The prospect of going somewhere else made me quite depressed. The next day I got a surprise phone call from the institute. Apparently the head of Human Resources has become a good friend of mine, because when she managed to catch a glimpse of my scores for the interview and saw that I had aced it, she couldn't resist calling me to let me know. I had been accepted! She said that I had done as well as I possibly could've, and that my responses blew them out of the water. She ended by saying that she would be in touch to help me with finding financial aid and housing. I couldn't believe it! I still can't. I have a path to where I want to go. I have a plan. I have the awesome opportunity to see and experience new things and stretch myself to become the person I want to be. I'm so incredibly grateful and excited! I feel like I'll get to go somewhere with my life. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for giving me this chance, and I'm going to do everything I can to be worthy of his trust. Look at me go!